


You're All I Have Left

by seventrials



Category: Everyman HYBRID
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Iteration Theory, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 20:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventrials/pseuds/seventrials





	You're All I Have Left

**_December 28th, 2014_ **

Evan looks over at the clock, squinting at the too bright light in the darkness. Four am. He hadn't slept a wink yet. Not that that was unusual- he rarely slept anymore, between his insomnia and HABIT forgetting human bodies need sleep, he would get maybe six hours of sleep in one week if he was lucky. He didn't know how long his body could keep up. He'd crash eventually,  and the cycle would start over again. It always did. That's just how it is when you're a tool of destruction. 

He rolls over to stare at the side of the bed where Stephanie used to sleep, before everything went wrong. He knew it wasn't his fault, it was HABITs, but it had still been his hands that it had used to kill her. His mouth that had… 

He shuddered thinking about it. He didn't want to remember, but it was so clear in his memory. He wasn't able to stop it. He couldn't control that thing, no matter how badly he wished he could. He had to live with the memories and the guilt.

Evan lets out a heavy sigh as he sits up, turning the bedside lamp on and flinching back a bit. Once he can see again, he grabs his bottle of sleeping pills. He stares at the bottle, thinking. His prescribed dosages stopped working months ago, what harm could it do to take more? But.. he needed a drink to do that...

He slips the bottle into his pocket, and stands up and stretches. He shuffles his way down the hallway and down the stairs, hoping none of his housemates are awake. Or at the very least if they are that it's Vinnie and not one of HABITs playthings this time. That's always awkward for him, especially when it's someone he knew. He'd rather avoid that right now…

Evan peeks into the kitchen, relieved to find it empty. He grabs a clean glass from the cabinet, pouring a glass of orange juice and sitting down at the table with it to take his meds, just kinda zoning out and probably dissociating. He should probably go back upstairs but… just relaxing a little while won't hurt right?

He jumps when he feels a tap on his shoulder,  and looks up to see Vinnie. “Huh? Oh, uh, hey Vin. You're up late....”

“I could say the same to you. I heard you go down the hall but I never heard you go back so I came to check on you… Bad night?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Kinda, yeah... “ Vinnie shakes his head, moving to sit at the table near Evan-- Who… almost immediately stands up to leave… Vinnie looks at him, confused, but doesn't try to stop him.

Evan doesn't even try to offer an excuse, he just heads back upstairs in silence, leaving poor Vinnie to look really confused. He know he's probably being a dick, but he's not ready to tell his friend what's up. Not yet.

\--

By seven am, Evan should have fast been asleep. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be the case. If anything he was MORE awake. It was almost tempting to just give up and get out of bed and try to go for a jog, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't last long that way. He'd be on the ground within the hour. Actually hey maybe that's a good idea… or maybe not, considering he's already hallucinating from lack of sleep. Or is that the HABITs influence? He can never tell anymore.

He's given up sleeping for the night again. It's just not happening. How long has it been, anyway..? He leaves his room to start downstairs, but hears conversation- sounds like Vinnie is talking to some of the others. Rather than face this head on, he heads back to his room and locks the door behind him. He has to get out of here.

Evan grabs a bag, and goes over to his window, pushing it open. Maybe he's delirious, but this seemed like his best option. He ducks out the window, and crawls along until he gets to the ladder. Once he's on the ground, he makes a mad dash for the trail, leaving the property behind him. He didn't know where he was going, but he had to get away before he went mad. Or.. madder?

\--

Evan manages to run longer than he expected- that's probably the HABITs influence- before he finally collapses near an abandoned building. He just needs a moment to breathe, that's all. He feels so light headed, that's not anything too bad right? Right…? 

Okay maybe it is bad. He's ready to pass out, that's what his body wants. But.. he can feel the HABIT trying to gain control again. If he falls asleep god know how long it'll be before he's back in control. But he's so tired.. a small nap won't hurt right…?

**_October 20th, 2015_ **

Evan was in control of his own body for the first time in months. His body was battered from whatever HABIT had been doing with it for the past almost year. he couldn't yet remember much of anything since the last Christmas he'd spent with Vinnie, which.. honestly he didn't remember much of that either. He just hoped he hadn't hurt too many people he loved. 

He was too nervous to go back to the weird multidimensional  (he assumed) house HABIT had made (if that was even the right word..), so he'd cleaned himself up in the motel he'd woken up in, made himself as presentable as he could and headed out into civilization for the first time in god knows how long. He had money apparently, and he wasn't gonna ask where HABIT got it, but he needed food that wasn't ... Whatever HABIT had been putting in his body. 

He stops inside a diner, hiding the bruising on the left side of his face the best that he can with his hair, hoping his baggy clothes hide the rest of his abrasions and cuts. He's grateful for the lack of a crowd as he gets his coffee and some food, and slinks to the back, taking a seat at the very back corner booth. He make himself as small as he can again the booth and wall, pretty much shoving himself in the corner, and pulls out his phone, which is... Huh. Surprisingly not dead. 

He glances through his messages, most of which it seems HABIT had let go ignored and unanswered. Vinnie asking where he was, Noah saying something about the collective (apparently HABIT knew more about those guys than he himself did)... He sends a quick text to let them know that he's not dead, and starts in on his food. He's pretty sure that it's the first actual food he's had in weeks. 

After some time of loitering around, he decides he can't avoid going back any longer- it's getting late and he has to go home eventually. Where even is he… he checks the map on the board outside and-

Oh  _ fuck _ . San Francisco?!  _ Seriously?! _

Evan lets out a deep sigh. Okay so he was a lot further away than expected. Why the hell was HABIT in San Francisco anyway?! Whatever, he had to get home. He really doesn't want to drive for 42 hours, and the last time he was on a plane he got sick. 

“Ugh, why the hell did you bring me to California, asshole?” he mutters under his breath, flipping through his contacts to see if there are any of his friends even remotely close. There was one but… he really didn't want to bother them. God knows if they'd even let him in. 

He sighs, heading into a convenience store. HABIT just has to concentrate to do his weird time hopping thing right? Maybe he can do it too. He doesn't like the idea of borrowing HABITs powers, but.... well, honestly he hates the idea of hitchhiking all the way to Princeton even more, and he really doubts that he has enough cash to take several busses or trains there. 2,900 miles is a long way to walk, and would be even more pricey just to take a bus, he's pretty sure. He stops in front of the convenience store bathroom, concentrates, opens the door aaaand… 

Nothing. Just a bathroom. That didn't work at all. 

He walks in, locking the door behind him, and sighs. Welp, time to see if his friends still trust him enough to help him get home. He pulls out his phone, texting Michael. 

\--

It's about one am when Michael gets to the convenience store. Evan’s been sitting outside for about three hours, and whenever people asked him if he needed help he'd explain he was waiting for his friend to get off work and to come get him. When he sees Michael's car he pulls himself up off the ground, dusting himself off and walking up to it, climbing in when they say it's okay. Once he's in and situated, his friend starts driving. 

Aaaand immediately starts in on the questions. Great.

“So.. how much time have you lost this time? You been back very long?”

“I've been back since about two in the afternoon. Uh… the last thing I remember is from around last Christmas so… yeah, it's been a while.”

“Damn dude. Almost a year? What's he been doing this whole time any idea?”

Evan shakes his head. He  _ wished _ he knew but.. he still had no idea. 

“I don't know. Not much has come back yet, and honestly? I'm grateful for that. It.. hurts to think about the things he's done, yanno?”

Michael nods, falling quiet for a while as they drive, focusing on the road. Evan doesn't mind. The silence gives him time to think.

Because of how late it was, Michael had agreed to let him stay at their house for the night, and they'd help him get to his next stop the next day. They didn't have to work the next day, and agreed to take him to Vegas to meet up with Chris and Emma, who were on their way back to Missouri. The two were willing to take him to St Louis with them, and from there he had to figure out a way back. Maybe his sister was willing to help… he hadn't spoken to her in a while. Guess it was time to finally do that.

\--

**_October 24th, 2015_ **

It took a couple days, but Evan had finally made it back home. He had hitchhiked from St Louis to Erie, Pennsylvania, and from there he took a train to Princeton. It was a tedious journey but hey, if HABIT was gonna be an asshole then it had to be done.

He unlocks the door, heading inside and locking it behind him. He could hear Vinnie talking, presumably vlogging for an update video. That was fine, he'd leave him alone for now. Vinnie could come find him when he was ready. He shifts the shoulder his bag is on, and slips up the stairs and to his bedroom.

The next thing he knows, Vinnie is waking him up and it's almost seven at night. 

“Hey, Ev.. Did you sleep alright?  I wasn't going to bother you but I thought you might be hungry.” 

Evan just nods a bit. “Oh.. Yeah, I kinda am.. Thanks Vinnie..”

The dinner between them is pretty quiet. The only times Evan speaks are to thank Vinnie for the food, compliment it, and to answer a small handful of his questions. Though, even then it's barely much of an answer- He  _ really _ didn't want to think about the things HABIT might have done.

After they eat, Vinnie manages to convince Evan to come to the living room with him, where it's warm, and they start having a movie marathon, and try to enjoy the time Evan is back.

Evan doesn't say anything at all through the marathon, but at some point Vinnie noticed he was shaking, and, upon further inspection, he was  _ crying _ as silently as he could. He pauses the movie, resting a hand on Evan’s shoulder, pulling away when Evan flinches.

“Hey.. You okay, Ev..?”

“...Yea.”

“Evan..”

“What?! What do you expect me to say?! It's not like there's anything we can do about it anyway."

“Evan, I just-”

“ _ Everyone is DEAD _ ,  _ Vincent _ !! Because of  _ me _ ! Jeff is dead, Stephanie is dead, Alex is dead, Nick is dead…” he trails off, choking on his own words.

Vinnie falls silent. It's no use trying to talk to Evan right now. He scoots over to his best friend, putting an arm around his shoulder to try and comfort him.

Evan lets out a shaky breath, curling up to him. He already feels bad for yelling like that, but at least Vinnie isn't reprimanding him for it. He didn't think he could handle that right now.

There's a long time of silence, other than the noise from Evan crying, and the noise of the movie, which Vinnie had turned back on at some point. Evan didn't say anything, and Vinnie was quiet as well, offering quiet comfort until Evan was ready to talk again. It takes a while, but eventually he speaks.

“...Vinnie …?”

“Yea, Ev?”

“If i… if HABIT makes me a.. a monster.. will you kill me before I can hurt you..?”

“That’s not going to happen, Evan.”

“But i..”

“I promise. I won't let it come to that. You're all I have left, Evan. I won't let him take you from me. And.. if it does come to that I'll find a way to help bring you back. I promise. No matter what happens, no matter how far you stray from me, I'll bring you back. I'll find a way.”

“Vinnie …” he sighs, smiling softly, “You always were the most optimistic of all of us.”

“Someone has to be.” 

Evan chokes out a laugh, shaking his head. He had a point. With Jeff being so back and forth on things before he died, and himself falling into occasional spots of depression, Vinnie had to be positive for all of them, even though they'd told him it was okay if he wasn't. He was like that when they were kids too, and even in other iterations, from what they could remember. 

“Maybe the next iteration will fix everything…”

“Vinnie.. lets.. not talk about that right now. Please..”

“Of course, we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about.”

Evan nods, closing his eyes. He focuses on Vinnie’s breathing, reminding himself that as long as he's here he has a reason to try to stay. A reason to fight the HABIT. A reason to not try to kill himself again.. they're all each other have left.


End file.
